Bobbie Gentry and vintage pussy...
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Fucking whales, dolphins, and other sea mamals...
I was reading the following from FAYE KANE'S Blog
I little side note of warning: DO NOT attempt sex with a shark as they will automatically rip off, or out in the case of you ladies, your genitalia and eat it...
It was all about this scientist who was in the arhtic swiming with pilot whales:
How to fuck a dolphin Dolphins: FAQ on Mating
(Note : Unfortunately, as of 2005, this popular site seems to be gone forever.)
Yes, I am perfectly aware there are many kinds of sex fetishes out there. There are people who are aroused by feet, shoes, and even shoelaces. But dolphins ? Anyway, if you want to have sex with a dolphin (and who doesn't ?), this is the guide for you. Please note in passing that the image to the right was called "yum.jpg" on the web site (for some reason, now called "fun.jpg").
Here is how to proceed :
1. Where to find a dolphin ?
Aquariums and zooz are out of the question : too many witnesses. You are instead advised to try to find a beach where dolphins live. You also need luck :
Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbor of my resident city.
And if the Coast Guard comes by, you're on your own.
2. Pre-sex assessment of the situation
First, you need to figure out 1. the gender of the dolphin and 2. figure out if the dolphin is aroused.
To do the first, you need to look at their head (males have a fatter, rounder head), or on the dolphin's belly, between opposite the dorsal fin and the tail. The male has two larger slits, and the female has one large slit and two small mammary slits.
Figuring out whenever your prospective mate is aroused is also relatively straightforward. The male will sport a long erection that would make most men jealous ("anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose", we are advised). The dolphin's penis is also prehensile and flexible, and you can wrap it around your arm. It is not mentioned if the dolphin likes to have his penis wrapped around some dink's arm. On the other hand, the female's genitals will become pink and swollen, and she may nuzzle against you.
Also, I still can't believe I am writing about having sex with dolphins. This is what being an Insolitologist is all about, folks.
Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?
A3) Accept, if possible!
3. Having sex
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length.
Due to the size of a dolphin's member, the best you can do with a male dolphin is to masturbate him. Missionary position or anal sex are both out of the question. Also, be careful : when those things shoot, they shoot. Remember what your mom told you about trains and get out of the way.
The female dolphin can be either masturbated or fucked, depending on your gender. Roll the dolphin gently to her side, belly towards you, and prop yourself on an elbow to stay face-to-face with her. At this point, my brain is already beginning to rebel against what I'm reading, so I'll let the author do the explaining for me :
Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. 
One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you.
In conclusion, good luck, and if you have a baby with a dolphin, don't forget to tell someone other than the National Enquirer.
review written by Franc, 07/2002.
Retrieved from:
I little side note of warning: DO NOT attempt sex with a shark as they will automatically rip off, or out in the case of you ladies, your genitalia and eat it...
It was all about this scientist who was in the arhtic swiming with pilot whales:
And she gets rather intimate with them....
contact
And big black cock and horse cock have nothing to compare with
Whale PENIS!
(Note : Unfortunately, as of 2005, this popular site seems to be gone forever.)
Yes, I am perfectly aware there are many kinds of sex fetishes out there. There are people who are aroused by feet, shoes, and even shoelaces. But dolphins ? Anyway, if you want to have sex with a dolphin (and who doesn't ?), this is the guide for you. Please note in passing that the image to the right was called "yum.jpg" on the web site (for some reason, now called "fun.jpg").
Here is how to proceed :
1. Where to find a dolphin ?
Aquariums and zooz are out of the question : too many witnesses. You are instead advised to try to find a beach where dolphins live. You also need luck :
And if the Coast Guard comes by, you're on your own.
2. Pre-sex assessment of the situation
First, you need to figure out 1. the gender of the dolphin and 2. figure out if the dolphin is aroused.
To do the first, you need to look at their head (males have a fatter, rounder head), or on the dolphin's belly, between opposite the dorsal fin and the tail. The male has two larger slits, and the female has one large slit and two small mammary slits.
Figuring out whenever your prospective mate is aroused is also relatively straightforward. The male will sport a long erection that would make most men jealous ("anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose", we are advised). The dolphin's penis is also prehensile and flexible, and you can wrap it around your arm. It is not mentioned if the dolphin likes to have his penis wrapped around some dink's arm. On the other hand, the female's genitals will become pink and swollen, and she may nuzzle against you.
Also, I still can't believe I am writing about having sex with dolphins. This is what being an Insolitologist is all about, folks.
A3) Accept, if possible!
3. Having sex
Due to the size of a dolphin's member, the best you can do with a male dolphin is to masturbate him. Missionary position or anal sex are both out of the question. Also, be careful : when those things shoot, they shoot. Remember what your mom told you about trains and get out of the way.
The female dolphin can be either masturbated or fucked, depending on your gender. Roll the dolphin gently to her side, belly towards you, and prop yourself on an elbow to stay face-to-face with her. At this point, my brain is already beginning to rebel against what I'm reading, so I'll let the author do the explaining for me :
One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you.
In conclusion, good luck, and if you have a baby with a dolphin, don't forget to tell someone other than the National Enquirer.
review written by Franc, 07/2002.
Retrieved from:
Retrospace: Comic Books #49: Horror Comic Covers
One might think it's odd to post this Retrospace link on a sex blog; however, with the time of the dead approaching with Halloween it's always important to remember that horror and sex go hand in hand. After all in the romance countries a hard orgasm is considered a little death.
Here are some of my favorite covers from the post:
In this cover you just know the Man-Monster called Taboo is going to totally ravish that hot blonde once his finishes off the Werewolf; however, this is the Werewolf's comic so he's probably about to totally get cock-blocked.
In this next cover we see a guy who's about to fulfill many a man's playboy and penthouse forum fantasy and get some pussy from a hot wild chick he's come across in the woods; however, what he doesn't know is that he's about to be killed and eaten by a moth creature.
Finally, this is one of the all time sex-horror situations; the guy is just about to get some tit on a romantic row boat ride with his well-endowed lady and all of sudden here comes the Ghoul of Ghost Swamp...
Here are some bonuses for you, Dracula, Frankenstein, the wolf man, and the creature (from the black lagoon) all about to get laid...
Also, the always half-naked Vampirella, and a girl about to get a bone..
Here's a link to the rest of the covers which has links to all the cool comic book covers they have over at Retrospace.
Retrospace: Comic Books #49: Horror Comic Covers: Magazine style comics such as Eerie, Vampirella, Creepy and the Warren and Skywald publications had some rich painted illustrations
Here are some of my favorite covers from the post:
In this cover you just know the Man-Monster called Taboo is going to totally ravish that hot blonde once his finishes off the Werewolf; however, this is the Werewolf's comic so he's probably about to totally get cock-blocked.
Also, the always half-naked Vampirella, and a girl about to get a bone..
Here's a link to the rest of the covers which has links to all the cool comic book covers they have over at Retrospace.
Retrospace: Comic Books #49: Horror Comic Covers: Magazine style comics such as Eerie, Vampirella, Creepy and the Warren and Skywald publications had some rich painted illustrations
Favorite Mexican Whores...
We go to Mexico City on business a lot and have a harem of local whores we use for fun...
Here's a a slideshow of some of our favorites:
Here's a a slideshow of some of our favorites:
Retrospace: Comic Books #14: Pre Code Nastiness
Cool Retrospace blog entry... violent cartoons from yesteryear...
This is my favorite in the group
I mean, the girls got a fucking sword thrust through her throat and all this guy can say is "cripes"...
Check it out if you get the chance....
Retrospace: Comic Books #14: Pre Code Nastiness: It's a common misconception that popular media has always been tamer and much less explicit than it is today. In many ways, movies, adverti.....
This is my favorite in the group
Check it out if you get the chance....
Retrospace: Comic Books #14: Pre Code Nastiness: It's a common misconception that popular media has always been tamer and much less explicit than it is today. In many ways, movies, adverti.....
Carly Rrae Jepsen Suck Me Maybe....
Here's a final pic, I think it's been proven it's somebody called Destiny or Desiree.... something like that, but I'll bet this is one of Carly Rrae's favorite positions:
Greatest Landing Strip ever...
Maria Checa Playmate of the Month for August 1994
Her landing strip is so perfect you could land a 747 on it....
Her landing strip is so perfect you could land a 747 on it....
Retrospace: Let's Get Physical #12: 1980s Muscle Mags
Retrospace: Let's Get Physical #12: 1980s Muscle Mags: Yes! That's what I'm talking about. A hot 80s chick, a roided up dude in a Speedo, and a freaking lion! It doesn't get much better than ...
In this pic it's no other than... Apollonia Kotero
In this pic it's no other than... Apollonia Kotero
She'll forever be on my Top 10 greatest racks of all time list....
10 examples of a date going really well, and you know you're going to get laid
1- When you meet for a workout date and while you're doing squats she does this....
2- When she texts you this picture and says how she'd like to starfish with you later....
3- When relaxing having a few beers she leans back and does this....
4- She calls you into her bedroom to show you something and this is what you see....
5-While talking at the bar she lifts her sexy black dress and asks if you'd like to go back to her place for some of her pie...
6- When you stop at a gas station to pic something up and she does this when she gets out...
On that same note, if you're being a gentleman and walk around and open her door to see this... you're probably going to get laid....
7- Pulling out her boob to show you is always a good sign...
8- Also, if her boob accidentally pops out she's just saying, suck on this, eat my pussy, and fuck me with your cock
9- If you're out on the dance floor and she does this when you ask her what she'd like to do later...
10- If you stop off at the 24 hour Wal-Mart after the party and she does this....
This is Jule's mom, Sara, we both got so horny that we couldn't wait and fucked on the baby changing table in the family restroom.
Didn't take any pics in the restroom, but here's the kind of table we fucked on
